Family
by wrongnotes
Summary: After joining the military at age twelve, Edward knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park. He was completely prepared to enter with a heroic facadę, knowing that he had to prove his strength. Unfortunately, keeping up such masks proved to be difficult, and little by little it began to chip away. Sometimes, he had learned, it was okay to share the burden. (Rated T for language)


**Just a precaution, there's quite a bit of offensive language towards the end, including some slurs. I definitely had a hard time writing that stuff, it just felt really gross to even type it. However, it was needed for the plot. This mainly focuses on Ed's experience when he first joins the military, and warming up to Team Mustang, so he isn't going to act quite as comfortable and confident as he does during the start of the show.**

 **Timeline: Right after state alchemist exam and October 3rd, 1911.**

* * *

Family

There was no reason to be nervous, right? He had spent an entire year preparing for this, and he was more than qualified for the job.

He couldn't deny the tugging feeling in his gut, though. The feeling of a dreadful mistake. Of course he had no regrets, everything he had done since that day had had a purpose. The heavy burden on his shoulders proved so, along with the ashes from his burning home that trailed behind him. There was no turning back anyways, he had to face the storm ahead with a lightning rod, taking in everything it had to offer and being left with nothing but a spark.

So why was there apprehension? He had spent _weeks_ just picking out what he was going to wear! He had passed the test with flying colors, leaving an impression on the Führer himself! He had marched straight through that military building with a posture that could have made someone second guess his height, if only for a moment.

Yes, the Fullmetal Alchemist was ready for his first day on the job, and he would do it _right._ He'd show that he wasn't just a kid, and could handle anything that was thrown at him with a grin on his face. He'd put on his biggest act yet, and be someone with the greatest confidence in the world, with no fears and no problems.

If only that were true.

Eastern Headquarters towered above him, and he marched through those doors like he owned the place. He had asked Alphonse to wait at the apartment for him, since he wanted to establish that _he_ was the state alchemist everyone had heard about, not his brother, who showed the title "Fullmetal" much more literally. This was his burden to carry, after all.

Almost immediately after walking in, a guard stopped him and asked for identification. Though this particular guard had an expression that screamed "I don't want to be here right now," Edward took this as the perfect opportunity to show off his position.

He would _not_ be looked at like a child.

The guard's eyebrows rose considerably at the sight of Edward's state alchemist pocket watch, and he discretely stared until Ed rounded the corner. So far, so good.

Now would be the hard part. Edward had already established his position with Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye, they knew what he was capable of, as well as his background. The rest of the team, however, could _not_ know under any circumstances. If word got out about the human transmutation, Edward could surely be court-martialed, and just about anything could happen to Al. No, this was not something that anyone could know. He had put his trust into the Colonel and Lieutenant, but even with the few times he had talked with them, he knew that they would keep his secret.

Now, he was no longer Edward Elric, he was the Fullmetal Alchemist.

He slammed open the door with enough force to dent the wall, and watched as the many faces in the room looked up in shock. This was good, he wanted to be feared.

"Ah, Fullmetal, glad to see you could make it," Roy smirked, chin on his hands. Somehow, within only a few interactions, Edward and Roy had created a relationship that consisted of yelling, snide remarks, and name-calling. This was also a good impression maker, as it showed that Ed was not a suck-up, and could make his own decisions, as well as display a familiar presence.

"Wait, _this_ is the Fullmetal Alchemist you told us about Colonel?" A man with sandy blond hair asked in surprise, a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. "You hired a _kid?!_ "

Great, even after that entrance he was being doubted. Ed supposed it was a normal reaction though. It wasn't a common occurrence for a twelve year old to be enlisted into the military with the rank of a Major.

"Yes Havoc, he's the newest member of our team, and even though he may have a _short_ temper, I'd recommend that you all get to know him."

Ed scowled at the short remark, but soon was introduced to the Colonel's team, and afterwards received a thick stack of paperwork. He knew it was mandatory, but still, when people talk about the glory of being a state alchemist, they never mention the mounds of forms and documents that come with it.

After being on such a prideful high, things soon began to take a bad turn. Pen in hand, surrounded by the many members of the Colonel's team, Edward had realized he had little to no experience with writing left handed. He had always been right handed, but after getting automail, Ed soon discovered that he didn't have the motor controls to write, let alone hold a pen or pencil without breaking it under the pressure. He had been a bit preoccupied to practice his penmanship though, so when he began to fill out the forms, he went extremely slowly with a shaky hand, creating squiggly lines and nearly illegible words.

Though it was something as simple as writing, Ed could feel his cheeks flushing as the team members looked at him. This was only a minor setback, he would get through it, just like everything else. Bad writing was definitely not important enough to ruin his reputation. No, it was only a minor embarrassment, barely enough to produce some stares. After finally finishing, Edward returned his paperwork and received his first mission.

"You'll only be investigating a small town that has been suffering from weak building support and minor collapses, nothing major. Fix up the place, and report back by next week," Colonel Mustang ordered while handing over a small packet containing the details of the town.

"That's it?" Ed asked. "Just a fix-up job? Can't they just hire a few construction workers or something?"

"Not too fast Fullmetal, I figured I'd start you off easy for your first job. After all, you may find reaching those buildings a challenge, with your height and all. The only way you _could_ reach a roof would be through alchemy, I doubt they even make ladders for your size."

"I'M NOT SHORT!" Edward retorted, watching as the Colonel snickered. Great, just after embarrassing himself with his childish handwriting, he was handed a mission that was a _complete_ waste of time. Wasn't he supposed to be researching and learning more about alchemy? Simple fixer upper jobs would get him nowhere, and the Colonel knew that. As Ed began to walk out of the office in anger and annoyance, Breda stopped him.

"Hey, are you okay? You're limping pretty badly there."

The limp. How could he have forgotten? Had he been doing it all day? A year was not a long time to get accustomed to metal appendages being attached to raw nerves and screwed into bone, so naturally he was still having trouble with them. He hadn't even admitted it to Al, but his leg constantly ached, with sharp pangs of pain any time he stepped on it. Now, even though he had gotten used to the pain, he had apparently developed a limp. A weakness. And he hadn't even noticed.

The first two blows to his pride were bad, but this one definitely topped the chart. His first day, and he was already looking like a weakling. He had gotten the automail to be strong, but now it was his most damaging feature.

"Yeah," Edward said, not turning around to look at Breda. "I'm fine." With that, he bit his lip and pushed through the pain, trying to walk with normal looking strides.

Even though these things were small, they hurt, and they caused Ed to try even harder. One mission became many, and his comebacks to the Colonel's remarks were getting better. He was establishing a friendly bond with his teammates, even though they only saw him the few times he came in to turn in reports. A month had passed and Edward was finally settling in to the way the military worked. Sure he had to go on boring missions, but at least he had gotten a high research fund, so any free time he had was spent studying with Alphonse. He had established respect once again, and he was determined to make it last. After all, the only way he'd be able to accomplish his goal was through the military.

* * *

Edward was once again strolling down the halls of Eastern Headquarters, with now a barely noticeable limp, and a report from a successful mission in his hand.

That was, until he was stopped by a group of large, burly looking men.

"What the hell is a _kid_ doing in headquarters?" one of them laughed in his face. This was fine, he was used to it, he'd just show his pocket watch and he'd be given instant respect, it worked every time.

"I'm not just a _kid_ ," he spat at them, pulling out his watch. "I'm a state alchemist, so it'd be nice if you'd step out of my way and let me do my _job."_

One of the men stepped forward, with eyebrows creasing in anger. "So you're telling me they gave _you_ a position I've been working for for years? What are you, ten? For as long as you've been _alive_ I've been working my way up to just a Lieutenant, so don't tell me some moron thought that it was a fitting idea to give you a rank equal to a _Major_. No, I bet it was a scandal, wasn't it? What, did your whore for a mother hit up one of the military officers in exchange for you getting this position? Of course, your slutty mother probably needed the money so she screwed the first high ranking man she could!"

Edward stared horrified at the man before him. How could someone say something so horribly _disgusting?!_ He felt sick... there was no way he had just heard what he did correctly. _Nobody_ insulted his mother, whether they knew her or not.

"You BASTARD!" He yelled, swinging with his right arm to hit the man in the face. However, the man standing next to him grabbed his wrist before he went through with it, and pushed him up to the wall. With the motion his sleeve rid up, revealing the gleaming automail beneath.

"Oh my God, if it couldn't get any worse, he's also a freak of nature! How could a filthy _cripple_ even be let in here?!"

A cripple? He'd been called things before, but never something so demeaning. People had never gone this far with him before, and he had no idea how to even react. It was true though, he hadn't even been able to complete the simplest tasks without his metal prosthetics... he knew it was his mistake, and he definitely wasn't proud of them. However, before he had at least tried to use them to seem tough, now he just felt worthless. He was completely helpless, at the hands of one of the other military members no less! He started shaking from anger, and he even began to notice his eyes tearing up a bit. No! That was ridiculous, Edward Elric did _not_ cry, let alone from something as trivial as words!

"Hey!" a voice called from a bit further down the hall, as he recognized to be Second Lieutenant Havoc. "Back off unless you want to be reported to the authorities _and_ splattered against the wall!" From Havoc's tone, it was easy to tell that he wasn't messing around like usual, and the man immediately backed off, with his friends letting go of Edward. They quickly left, but not without sneering at the two first.

"Thanks..." Edward said quietly, not looking Havoc in the eyes. He didn't want to face up to his defeat, knowing that his outside persona was destroyed for sure by now.

"Ed, don't think on what they said for a second. They don't even know you, hell, I barely do! But you know what? Even in the month that you've been here we've all seen how strong you are. So what if you have a few setbacks? You don't need to act up for us and impress us, we know that you can handle the worst. We get it, and we'll stand by your side no matter what. We've got your back chief, that's what we're here for."

Chief? Is that what he was being called now? It was... comforting, like he was respected, but in a caring way. Havoc was right, he'd seen the way the team had always looked out for him, even the Colonel showed that he cared. But what had he done for them? What did he owe to be treated this way?

"Why?" Edward asked, not knowing how he had already given enough to earn this treatment, with everything he had done beforehand.

"Because we're family chief, and that's what families are for," Havoc smiled.


End file.
